The Plan

Since it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, I thought I'd do one more thankful post. So,  I'm thankful for The Plan.  Nothing is more comforting than to know we're here for a purpose, everything happens for a reason, and God is in control of everything.  I've been thinking a lot lately as to why we're here.  What am I really doing with my life? If I'm not here to live the gospel to the fullest and become like Christ, what am I really doing?  And if I'm o.k. settling for less than the greatest blessings available, why am I really trying at all.  My dad was told he had a few weeks to live, with treatment maybe a few months.  We believe in miracles and are praying he's here with us for much longer and I believe he will, but it's made me wonder what I would think if I was told that news.  My first thought would be, "crap, I'm really not ready."  I'm selfish so of course that thought would be about myself but I'm working on that not being the case.  But honestly, what can we expect once we die if we're only living the gospel with half the effort we can?  It's soo easy to think that we have more time and can be better later, but who's to say you'll have that much time.  Lots of things have been reinforced to me lately and one of those things is that we are not on our own timeline.  All we have to give is our will and we just have to have faith that God is in control.  If that's not true, we just go through a whole lot of crap for nothing.  So, I'm thankful to know there's a Plan, this life is not the end and we have all the resources available to know what we're supposed to be doing.

My Weekly BM and more things to be thankful for :)

Natalie:

When I was little, I was a daddy's girl.  Apparently when he left for work everyday(I don't remember this), I would cry and carry on and as soon as he got home I would be glued to his side.  I do remember him giving me eskimo kisses...or butterfly kisses.  I'm not sure what they're called but the kind where you rub your noses together.  I loved that when I was little.  In fact, now I love to do it with Patrick.  

Jon:

I keep telling Jon to give me some memories but he always says he'll think about it and then I have to remember a memory for him but it's getting harder and harder.  If he doesn't give me one soon I'll tell a story that I know he would prefer his kids not to know about. ;)  Sooo....apparently Jon was a hyper little kid.  Like, the kind that would always try to be the center of every birthday party, even if it wasn't their own.  His mom said he would always try to open the birthday gifts for other people.  What a generous little boy. :)

Patrick:

Patrick has discovered it's fun to grab hair, and noses, and mouths, and whatever he can get his hands on.  Not that my nose is hard to grab on to because of it's generous size, but I was amazed at his grip and how much it can hurt.  Now I have an excuse to wear my hair in a ponytail...there's just nothing else you can do with a baby who likes to pull out your hair.  

Now on to something I'm thankful for:

As cheezy as it sounds, I'm thankful for the small, tender moments.  Like, moments where I see my mom helping my dad walk out of the radiation center and then he'll turn around and open her door for her.  Or, moments where Jon randomly comes up, gives me a hug and says he doesn't know what he would do without me, or even when I'm just having a bad day and Patrick knows the perfect time to give me one of his sweet smiles.  Sure, it's nice and can be really fun to make a production of things sometimes but when it really comes down to it, quiet acts of love mean far more to me.  I don't want my husband to be loving because he thinks people are watching and it will win him brownie points.  My parents didn't know I was watching them take care of each other, but they did it anyway. I get caught up in myself sometimes and when I do, I tend to get negative.  I'm sorry to admit I get critical of not only myself but other people and sometimes it feels like everyone has just turned selfish(not everyone but you know what I mean).  Really it's just me being selfish and if I just back up and really watch, you see people doing these sweet things all the time.  

4 months!

Today was Patrick's 4 month appointment.  That means more of those crappy shots, that I know are for his good, but I hate hearing him scream.  He was a trooper though and stopped screaming as soon as they were done and just cuddled into me with a cute little pout on his face.  The nurses and doctor couldn't say enough comments about how cute he is...and how big but we'll forget that part.  The doctor even said he wished he could take him home because he's so cute but then he picked him up and felt how heavy he was, called him a brick and said, "nevermind, he's too heavy."  ha :)  Yes, I'm gaining lots of muscle.   Soooo....here are his 4 month stats:

18.8 pds.-  97 percentile(The nurse said her kids didn't even weigh that much when they were a year old.  I was thinking, "so, what are you trying to say?")
26 in.-  90 percentile
17 in. head-  75 percentile

Either they told me wrong last time on his head or it shrunk...or I heard wrong.  I'm going with it shrunk because it was pretty big and misshapen from the suction cups, like cone head misshapen, and now it's cute and round so I think it was probably just going back to normal size.  I don't know.  Just a guess.

Patrick's personality is coming out more and more.  On the good side of that, he laughs and smiles and is super cute, on the bad side...we know when he's angry.  Like, he's already started throwing little tantrums and his screams turn into little pig squeals.  I would think the sound was cute if I wasn't the one trying to calm him down.  He wants to be on the go all the time so his main frustrations or fits come from us just not entertaining him enough.  Like, if he's been in a car seat for too long, or we try to just sit and watch a movie for too long, etc.  I actually think it will be a relief once he can crawl because then he won't have anything to be frustrated about...maybe.  His jumperoo is still a relief because we can put him in that for 20 minutes and he goes crazy jumping up and down.  Patrick's reaching more and more for things and getting better and putting them in his mouth.  He's also discovered his feet, which is cute, because if we have little animals on his feet he'll just hunch over and sit and stare at his feet for a few minutes.  Here are a few pictures of our cute little buddy at 4 months:

  
Oh, I love this little boy and I love being a mom.  It's nice to have a break once in awhile but if I'm at work or running errands without Patrick, all I can think about is how he's doing.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice not having to haul his car seat around and to just be by myself for a little bit, but I can't help obsessing over this little guy.  When I was first getting into the swing of things, it was hard not to be overwhelmed with all of the change.  It's a big job but the longer I'm in this role, the more I love it and the more I can't imagine what I'd do without my buddy.  I remember after the first couple days and weeks people would say, "you can't imagine life without him now, huh?"  I would say, yes I can.  But now, a few months later, I can honestly say I can't imagine life without Patrick.  He is such a little blessing and with everything going on in my family right now, he's kind of a little light and happiness straight from heaven.  

Fun at the doctor's office

We've spent a lot of time at the radiologist's office this last week because the doctors are trying to hit my dad's cancer hard and fast. The office has this huge puzzle that people can work on while they're waiting so Jon decided to do it for a few minutes.  I put Patrick in the seat across from Jon but the puzzle just didn't quite do it for him...

Set back

A couple days ago we found out that my dad's cancer has spread to his spinal cord and is back with a vengeance.  We haven't given up hope but prayers would be much appreciated.  We love you dad!

Memories and another thing to be thankful for :)

Natalie:

I started playing the piano when I was 5 or 6.  My sister had played for a couple years and I think since she played, I wanted to play.  My first piano teacher was my Aunt Kari but that didn't last long because they moved(sad day, but that's a whole set of other memories growing up :)) and I took from a couple consistent teachers for a few years.  By the time I was in middle school my piano teacher, Mrs. Day, had moved and that ended any consistency in piano.  Sometimes I wish I had just found a super consistent piano teacher and kept up with only piano instead of doing the string thing because I really do love to play.  But then I remember how much I enjoy playing my violin or viola and I'm glad things turned out how they did.

Jon:

Jon also started playing the piano when he was little.  His private lessons only lasted a few weeks.  The reason for stopping: a recital!  Really?  A dumb little recital.  I get upset with my students like him. ha ha  He learned soo much in his few little lessons and on his own that it makes me sick to think how good he would be now if he had continued.  I could have had my own personal accompanist!  Ok, that's a selfish reason but he definitely had a natural ability on the piano.  Maybe some day we'll be rich enough to get him in private lessons because he still talks about wanted to be able to play.

Patrick:

Patrick is getting better and better at grabbing things.  He has a play set of keys which seems to be the easiest thing for him to grab.  Yesterday he grabbed these keys out of my hands but then had a spastic movement and whacked himself right in the forehead with them.  It was hard not to laugh because he got the most confused look on his face but then seeing my amused expression, he broke into a smile.  Too cute.

Now onto something I'm thankful for.  I'm thankful for...laughter.  Life is hard.  Stinkin' hard.  And sometimes I get a little bogged down.  I worry about my dad and his cancer, my mom and her supporting him in this trial, money, Jon's school, taking care of Patrick in the best way possible, teaching students effectively, being horrible at maintaining friendships, etc.  At times I wish I was in the next phase of life...ya know, where Jon has a career, our kids are grown and perfect and everyone has great health and my house is always clean.  I know, keep dreaming right?  Anyway, back to laughter.  We need it.  The older Patrick gets, the more and more he laughs.  It is soo cute and no matter what kind of day I'm having, he never fails to make me a little happier with his cute laugh.  Whatever the reason, the older I get, the less I laugh and the other day Jon and I started to laugh over something and I remember thinking how good it felt.  Full out laughter sadly feels a little foreign but I think it's something I could have more of. :)

Has daylight savings thrown anyone else's baby off schedule?

Snow time!

We got some snow this week so guess what that means?  Patrick gets to dress up in his snow suit!  Almost everything in life is so much more fun once you have a little baby to dress up for every occasion.   Although, just for the record, dressing him up isn't the only reason for my enjoyment.  I love seeing his excitement to all of these new things.  Granted, he doesn't know everything that's going on yet but it's still fun to see him have a good time.

 Patrick wasn't too sure he liked the outfit at first

 He loved making little snow angels.  How cute is this little boy? :)

Halloween, Part two and our weekly BM

So my last post showed our Halloween with the Blackburns but later that night we went to my parent's house for some traditional chili and donuts.  I might have eaten a few too many sweets this weekend.  Here are more pictures of Patrick in his costume because I just can't get enough of him. 

Grandparents with Patrick

Now on to our memories. 

Natalie:

In spirit of Halloween, I've chosen to pick Halloween memories.  I remember my favorite costume of all time being Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  Probably because she had brown hair, I always felt like if I was going to be a Disney princess, that's who I would be.  After that, I sort of lost interest in dressing up and going trick or treating.  I think I stopped by the time I was in middle school and I haven't really enjoyed Halloween until now.  The whole reason for my new enjoyment...Patrick.

Jon:

His favorite costume of all time was when he dressed up as dracula.  For him, trick or treating wasn't really that exciting either and he said his favorite part of Halloween growing up was his dad's work party.  They had bobbing for apples, catching goldfish, fortune telling, etc.  Pretty much a big Halloween carnival. 

Patrick:

As everyone knows by now, Patrick dressed up as a puppy for his first Halloween.  He loved every minute(well, almost every minute) of attention, which he got plenty of, in his little costume.

Anyway, we had a great holiday with both of our families and I really wish I could dress Patrick up every week but now it's over and we have Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to.  I've mentioned before that I dislike this time of year because it's getting colder and it feels like I hardly ever see the sun but in order to keep my mood up, I've decided to copy Erika(thanks for the idea cuz!) and write something I'm thankful for.  Maybe not everyday but at least once a week.  Sooo....here we go.

I may get mushy later but at the moment I'm just going to say I'm grateful for the weather growing colder because that means snow.  And having snow means no mowing of our lawn!  Not having to mow our lawn means no park manager giving us nasty messages saying our lawn is starting to look neglected.  Jon and I both happen to actually like working in the yard and we both can do a great job, if I do say so myself, if we want on taking care of a lawn.  However, this summer between family things, jobs, baby, school, etc. the last thing on my mind was edging a lawn.  Hence the nasty phone calls.  Oh, this is a sore topic for me and I'm going to have to write the manager a letter some day telling her I'm sorry that I disliked her soo much but since this is a thankful message I'm just going to say, thank you snow!  Well, thank you snow...soon.

Birthday weekend and Halloween...part 1

Shiloh with Patrick

Cousins!  Afton and Patrick

Little family picture on Halloween

Grandpa and Patrick just observed all the pumpkin carving

Aubree(due with a boy in the next month!), Jen and Mike

Mike

Jen, Aida and I

My pumpkin

Grammie and Patrick

Happy Halloween everyone!  We had a great few days celebrating two birthdays on Jon's side(Kami and his dad) and then Halloween!  We carved pumpkins, ate food and enjoyed hanging out with everyone.  Of course, since we have two families here we went to both grandparents for Halloween so I'll add more pictures soon.  Patrick was dressed up as a little puppy and and if I do say so myself, he was the cutest baby I've ever seen. ;)  I'm not biased.