"Choose the harder right, rather than the easier wrong"

I've had a lot on my mind for the last...6 years.  I can't really put into words all of the experiences we've had over the last several years but I will openly admit that I have been afraid that Jon and I would never "find our way" in this life. 

 For those of you who don't know, we are of the LDS faith.  We believe God is constantly giving us personal revelation for our lives as well as our prophet receiving revelation for the church as a whole.  He is God's mouthpiece.  God leads his church, not men.  We are very much Christian and my gratitude for my savior is deep.  Twice a year, our church has what's called, General Conference, where we listen to inspiring talks by men and women of our church.  Last year at the conference, our prophet gave a short talk(his health is declining) but a phrase stuck out to me, "choose the harder right, rather than the easier wrong."  At the time, we were trying to decide on quitting Jon's job, starting a blog, going back to school, life after school, various entrepreneurial paths, etc. and I didn't know which way to go.   I heard that phrase from our prophet and ever since, I've been trying to figure out what the harder right was.  Because that phrase struck me so deeply, I knew the Lord wanted me to take it to heart.  For the past year I've been pondering on it.  Is the harder right to stay here?  Is the harder right to start a new career?

A couple weekends ago, Jon flew to North Carolina for a job interview.  For the first time in a very long time, we feel like we are headed on the path we are meant to be on but it's taken years to prepare our hearts and minds. I thought that maybe moving to North Carolina was the harder right because it meant leaving family behind.  And yes, that will be hard but on the drive home from the airport as Jon and I were talking, it struck me so deeply that we've already been living the harder right for the last several years.  The easier wrong would have been to quit college when Jon was working night shifts, going to school full time, bringing in a new baby and trying to be emotionally supportive to our family going through heart break.  Why not quit and take a break with so much going on?  The easier wrong would have been to run away from our problems a long time ago and leave the place that reminded me of my dad's death.  The easier wrong would have been to quit a job we needed because it pushed my husband to emotional limits.  The easier wrong would have been to blame all of our depression on our surroundings and give up finding happiness.  The easier wrong would have been to turn against God and believe He wasn't speaking to us anymore.

However, even though we feel like we've banged our heads against a million walls, cried more tears than we thought possible, had more heavy conversations than I can count, and clawed our way from the bottom of a never ending pit(I sound dramatic but it's felt like that a lot), the harder right has been to keep having those heavy conversations.  To keep clawing even though we felt there might not be a way out.  To be with family that's needed us even though I felt like the sadness was too heavy for me to bear.  The harder right has been to keep knowing that neither of us are naturally, clinically depressed and our surroundings had to change rather than making medicine stronger and stronger(believe me, I know some people need that and every circumstance is different), the harder right has been to keep looking for the correct path, the hardest right has been to keep believing and knowing that God is still in control of our lives and that what we were going through was for our good.

And finally, feeling like we've figured out our paths and feeling like our millions of prayers are being answered, all of that harder work is worth it.  And the hindsight is amazing and I feel soo grateful for what we've learned over the last several years.  I'm so grateful God didn't swoop in and rescue us and provide us with perfect options from the start because we had, and still have, a lot to learn.  I know life will never be perfect.  There will always be hard things and our happiness is based on our perspective, not our circumstances.  But I also know that if someone feels like they're on the wrong path, it's completely worth it to fight for yourself and your family and find where you're supposed to be.  Find what God would have you do because only He knows what can make you happiest.