Soccer Season!

I mentioned before that our boys had started soccer and, oh my word, it is the cutest thing to watch little kids play soccer.  This is Patrick's second year playing and his abilities from last year to this year are amazing.  Last year we'd be yelling from the sidelines, "Patrick, watch the ball!  You can lay down when it's your turn to sub out!" or, "Stop!  The ball's already out of bounds!" type stuff.  It was incredibly entertaining to watch but I might have mentioned that soccer wasn't his thing a few times.  But this year, he is jumping right in and being really on top of things with the ball and since he's tall and fast, the team relies on him a lot to get the ball out of the whole mob situation that always happens when little kids play soccer.

Aiden slipped a couple times at the first game and since the other kids laughed at him, he was ready to quit.  After some explanation that everyone slips at some point and we just have to practice running in weird shoes, he was ready to at least go practice with us.  And after 30 minutes of running around our yard and practicing making little goals and kicking the ball back and forth, he became excited again to go out and play with his team.

This is an exciting part of parenthood.  I've mentioned that it hasn't always been easy for me(nor would I say it is now!), but I love this part.  The part where the kids start getting involved in things and I get to drive them to soccer practice or music lessons or school events.  I love watching them interact with other kids and get excited over various activities and overall just grow into their own little human beings.

Later that day, at home, Aiden said he was in love with that little girl.

And because the boys didn't get enough play time in during the game, we stopped at the playground before leaving.

In June, the boys are supposed to start baseball(by the request of Aiden) and I'm excited to see which sport they start gravitating towards.

April Randoms

With Jon now working in North Carolina, there have been a lot of airport trips where I've either gone with him(to look at housing and the area) or by himself.  The below picture was a time when the boys and I were anxiously waiting for his airplane to land so we could go get him.

And then there was the time when I went over with him and found that there is a whole new world of take out!  Other than the food part, North Carolina has some incredibly pretty areas and we're excited to get our whole family over there.

The boys started soccer and it's adorable to see them dressed in all the gear.  I'm pretty sure 4-5 year olds don't need soccer cleats but we're intense over here. ;)

Our youngest thought it was all fun and games until they actually started playing against the other team.  Then he voluntarily kept taking himself out of the game because he didn't like that the other guys were trying to take his ball away.  He'll get the idea....maybe.

And hey!  I'm 30 weeks down and, at most, 9 more to go.  Yes, with the moving and craziness, I'm going to be induced at 39 weeks if she hasn't come by then.  My pelvis is killing me and I feel like a whale when I try to get up and down or turn, but it's all worth it.  Right?  Right!?  Right.  I can't wait to bring a little more estrogen into this family.

"Choose the harder right, rather than the easier wrong"

I've had a lot on my mind for the last...6 years.  I can't really put into words all of the experiences we've had over the last several years but I will openly admit that I have been afraid that Jon and I would never "find our way" in this life. 

 For those of you who don't know, we are of the LDS faith.  We believe God is constantly giving us personal revelation for our lives as well as our prophet receiving revelation for the church as a whole.  He is God's mouthpiece.  God leads his church, not men.  We are very much Christian and my gratitude for my savior is deep.  Twice a year, our church has what's called, General Conference, where we listen to inspiring talks by men and women of our church.  Last year at the conference, our prophet gave a short talk(his health is declining) but a phrase stuck out to me, "choose the harder right, rather than the easier wrong."  At the time, we were trying to decide on quitting Jon's job, starting a blog, going back to school, life after school, various entrepreneurial paths, etc. and I didn't know which way to go.   I heard that phrase from our prophet and ever since, I've been trying to figure out what the harder right was.  Because that phrase struck me so deeply, I knew the Lord wanted me to take it to heart.  For the past year I've been pondering on it.  Is the harder right to stay here?  Is the harder right to start a new career?

A couple weekends ago, Jon flew to North Carolina for a job interview.  For the first time in a very long time, we feel like we are headed on the path we are meant to be on but it's taken years to prepare our hearts and minds. I thought that maybe moving to North Carolina was the harder right because it meant leaving family behind.  And yes, that will be hard but on the drive home from the airport as Jon and I were talking, it struck me so deeply that we've already been living the harder right for the last several years.  The easier wrong would have been to quit college when Jon was working night shifts, going to school full time, bringing in a new baby and trying to be emotionally supportive to our family going through heart break.  Why not quit and take a break with so much going on?  The easier wrong would have been to run away from our problems a long time ago and leave the place that reminded me of my dad's death.  The easier wrong would have been to quit a job we needed because it pushed my husband to emotional limits.  The easier wrong would have been to blame all of our depression on our surroundings and give up finding happiness.  The easier wrong would have been to turn against God and believe He wasn't speaking to us anymore.

However, even though we feel like we've banged our heads against a million walls, cried more tears than we thought possible, had more heavy conversations than I can count, and clawed our way from the bottom of a never ending pit(I sound dramatic but it's felt like that a lot), the harder right has been to keep having those heavy conversations.  To keep clawing even though we felt there might not be a way out.  To be with family that's needed us even though I felt like the sadness was too heavy for me to bear.  The harder right has been to keep knowing that neither of us are naturally, clinically depressed and our surroundings had to change rather than making medicine stronger and stronger(believe me, I know some people need that and every circumstance is different), the harder right has been to keep looking for the correct path, the hardest right has been to keep believing and knowing that God is still in control of our lives and that what we were going through was for our good.

And finally, feeling like we've figured out our paths and feeling like our millions of prayers are being answered, all of that harder work is worth it.  And the hindsight is amazing and I feel soo grateful for what we've learned over the last several years.  I'm so grateful God didn't swoop in and rescue us and provide us with perfect options from the start because we had, and still have, a lot to learn.  I know life will never be perfect.  There will always be hard things and our happiness is based on our perspective, not our circumstances.  But I also know that if someone feels like they're on the wrong path, it's completely worth it to fight for yourself and your family and find where you're supposed to be.  Find what God would have you do because only He knows what can make you happiest.