We Did It

There have been a lot of things happening with our little family.  Some we did it moments.  First one being the Rush Triathlon!

I'm the biker in the top and Karolyn is in the bottom picture

We finished!

So, there's a little story behind this race.  Remember how I wrote about being competitive?  Well, I was taught a little lesson on how I can't control everything, no matter how I try, and that's a good thing.  Our triathlon was on Saturday but starting on Wednesday I got the fever that my boys had.  And not just a little fever.  Like a fever so high I had to crawl around the house because I was so week and sick, couldn't eat, lost 10 pounds in 2 days, had a few emotional breakdowns, and wanted to die type of fever.  My throat was covered in sores and I just felt...really miserable. :)  By Thursday night, I had half of dinner, Friday I ate one full sandwich for lunch and a cookie for dinner and Saturday morning I prayed that I would have enough strength to not drown in the lake.  To top it off, my bike had been in the shop earlier that week and I got a call saying it was done on Wednesday in the middle of my sickness so I completely forgot about it.  Friday night, after the store was closed and while I was at my cousin's reception, I remembered that I didn't even have a bike.  Luckily, Karolyn knew someone who knew someone who happened to have the owner's unlisted number and he was willing to go open his store for us.  Thank you Sticks and Stones. :)  Anyway,  I didn't drown and I finished in 1:41 placing 9th overall for females, which is slower than I hoped for days earlier but better than I thought considering how I felt.  Part of me wanted to break it down and say, "I know my swim could have been at least 2 minutes faster and my biking 2 minutes faster and my running 6 minutes faster if I had just felt well," but really I'm just grateful I could complete it.  And honestly, a big weight was lifted from my shoulders when I was sick because I knew I couldn't put pressure on myself to get a certain time.  I had to just go with it and that's always a good lesson for me.

The next we did it moment: we sold our house!

 Goodbye little trailer that we were so anxious to get out of but really emotional to leave when it came down to it.

And I had to get a picture in front of this tree.  The last thing my dad painted for us.  It was always a reminder to me of my dad's selflessness.  This tree was painted in the middle of my dad's chemotherapy treatments and I remember him being so weak but coming and painting anyway.  I think it took him a week to finish because he had to take so many breaks but he was determined to paint that tree for Patrick's room.  I remember getting a picture text showing me the tree at work and asking if it looked ok or if I wanted him to re-draw it...my dad, too weak to almost stand at that point in treatment, and he was willing to redo it if it meant I was happy.  Perfect or not, I loved that tree and I loved that reminder in my boy's bedroom of a grandpa's love.  I think it was the hardest part to leave behind.  Harder than leaving the house we brought our two boys home to, harder than leaving what became our sanctuary through some really hard trials, harder than leaving behind something to call ours.  We are excited to build a real home but there will always be a little piece of my heart that loves that little trailer.  It kind of felt like we were saying goodbye to the hardest five years of our lives and hopefully welcoming a happier chapter.

Hopefully our next we did it moment will happen in about 4-5 months when our house is finished!  

Competitive

I have a confession to make.  I'm really, really competitive.  While this can be a good thing and I'm realizing it has helped fuel any passions I've had in life, sometimes it's really not a good thing.  Next Saturday, I'm going to complete(hopefully;)) my first full triathlon.  I've been training over the summer and my competitive side has been good because it keeps me getting up in the mornings.  However, me being competitive, that also means I'm checking times of past winners and trying to beat those times and even though I tell myself that I just want to finish in under a certain amount of time, there's a part of me that is driven to try to win.  Some days I push hard and get great times and other days I'm just tired and I can't.  Since training for the past couple of months my body has been through a miscarriage(not planned) as well as trying to figure out a malfunctioning thyroid and both have drained me of energy but the competitive side of me doesn't care.  I can bike 20 miles, run a few more and then go swim around a lake on a Saturday morning and as soon as I check facebook and see that someone ran farther than me, I feel like I'm not training hard enough.

I don't mean this to be a downer post, but I want this blog to be real and sometimes I get tired.  Tired of looking on facebook and comparing myself, tired of training, tired of putting pressure on myself to be more than I'm capable in this moment.  If I don't get the times I want in this triathlon, it's ok.  It's been a process but I'm learning how important it is to appreciate our bodies for the amazing things they can do.  So what if I have a few inches left that I want to get rid of here or there, my body is capable of doing really great things and I'm really grateful for that.  I haven't been grateful like I should be and I've focused on what I can't do this summer but this week has been good to me.  I went on a bike ride on Saturday and started to appreciate the fact that my training has let me really enjoy nature.  I love the stillness and peace I feel when I'm riding or running at 6:30 in the morning out in nature.  And I love that we're building a house(more on that later) out in the country where I only have to go five miles in almost any direction before I can feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere and enjoy that stillness that allows my thoughts to go towards gratitude.
So, no matter what happens this Saturday I am so grateful for the things I have in my life.

For example:
I loved seeing the excitement on this little boy's face when he realized it was his birthday.  My buddy means a lot to me.
 

 And I love checking on Aiden and seeing that he has a love for books just like his Grandpa

And I love that I cooked a dinner with vegetables from our own garden!

And I love watching our boys get so much enjoyment out of the rain and splashing through puddles.

I love crossing over this river, multiple times, on a long bike rides.

And hello random elk farm in the middle of nowhere(also known as Plano, I believe). 

I love it when I peek into the living room and see these two playing peacefully together.

I will never get tired of holding this little guy's hand.

I love that I married my high school sweetheart and best friend.

Especially when we have class reunions and we can reminisce together.

And if you see me in the grocery store and I don't look happy, it's because my boys have high fevers...again.  Just remind me that I really am grateful and this sickness will pass. ;)