Aiden at 18 months

Mr. Aiden.  My little man.  Sweet, little Aiden.  My little cuddle buddy.

This picture means a whole lot to me right now.  It perfectly sums up our relationship.

 You have become attached at my hip lately.  Or anyone's really.  You love to be held and cuddled with.  It's definitely tough when I'm trying to get things done and I might complain a little bit but I love your hugs.  I love your open display of affection and I love your smiles.  I can never get tired of your smiles.  One of your smiles can lighten the darkest of days.  Don't even get me started when you giggle as well.  Just thinking about it almost makes me want to go wake you up from your bed just so I can get another little smile and giggle out of you.  Almost. ;)

Your vocabulary has just started increasing.  For the longest time you only favored a few words: mama, dada, baba and nana(banana).  It's no wonder why banana and bottle would be your second and third words considering the fact that I think you would be perfectly happy to only eat/drink those the rest of your life.  However, lately you've started adding quite a few words including: dow(down), up, no, yeah!, pwea(please), tay oo(thank you), luff oo(love you), I, hi, bye, ball, Abby, opay(open), ahma(grandma), shoe, eye, mow(mouth), no(nose).  I know there are more but it's hard to remember at the moment. You also looove making animal noises.  Preferably the pig, horse and cow.  Most definitely the pig, though.  You love pointing out animals in real life as well as in books or with toys.  You also love pointing to various body parts and copying what we say but you have the face down pretty well.

  I want to say you're the sweetest baby known to man, but lately you have developed a little temper.  Although it pretty much only comes out when Patrick takes one of your toys or you want food.  We know where your priorities are. ;)  Oh, and that stubborn streak in you...it has definitely started to come out full force.  I have to recruit your dad to feed you most days because for some reason, he's the only one that can get you to eat certain foods.

Favorite toys at the moment would have to be balls and little things to hold in your hand whether it be mini cars or animal figures.  I was afraid you would take after your brother with a love of cars, simply because you see him playing with them a lot, but I'm glad you're showing your own interest in things.  You love to climb and be outside and do anything active.  You also love playing the piano with your brother.  It's interesting to watch because you both already have very unique touches when you play.  Patrick just goes with it with full force and you keep it a lot more delicate.  Even when you're trying to play loud.

  Little one, you make it hard for me to get after you.  Even when you're in time out, I can't help but smile when I see you crossing your arms and tapping your foot, waiting patiently until I'm done counting.  You have a light that is contagious.  We love you more than life itself.

Love,
Mom and Dad

3 year old Patrick

Patrick,

You turned 3 years old a couple months ago and I can hardly believe you're getting so big.  When did you grow up into such a little man?  You have developed quite the little personality and I am so blessed to be your mom.

I'm not going to lie, this last year has had a lot of rough moments.  You have quite the little attitude, little man.  Life has had it's share of trials in your little life and I worry that our stress has rubbed off onto you.  You are our guinea pig and we are constantly changing our game plan with you but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love you.  All of you.  Every little stubborn, feisty, loving, adorable, aggravating side of you.  Thank you for teaching your dad and I patience.  We definitely need it with your defiance.

We're making progress though.  We're all learning.  I've learned that your heart is soo big, bud.  So big.  And you have no bubble.  You want people around you at all times and you love the attention.  That's something that I've had a hard time understanding because we're different in a lot of ways.  You teach me, everyday, how to love more deeply.  How to hold those that are dear to us closely. 

You are a passionate one.  Sometimes that's difficult because if you want a toy you're passionate about, we have to have a little lesson on being a little more gentle with other kids.  It's another trait that I'm learning from.  You've been pretty passionate about cars for the last couple years and your vast collection of cars can prove that.  I'm still amazed that you can keep track of all those names.  Even mommy has a hard time keeping track of them all.

Lately, I've been able to see how you have quite the creative mind.  You've started replacing your cars with crayons, scissors(thanks to pre-school), paper, markers, play doh, etc.  You love to draw and create things.  You've taken a big interest in my violin and in the piano and I love hearing you say, "mom, I just want to make music!"  I love seeing this side of you coming out and I hope you have a passion in the arts someday.

Oh, Patrick.  We love you.  We love you more than I can say.  I have so many days where it is so hard to have patience because you think it's funny to aggravate us, but even then...I still love you.  I can't imagine life without my little buddy and I'm grateful you have patience as we figure this parenting thing out.

Thanks for keeping life entertaining.

Love,
Mom and Dad
 
   

September

Normally I write a little post about how I'm depressed that the weather starts getting cold in September, but this year I'm kind of excited.  Fall/winter means progress on our house, and dressing up two little boys who are remembering the fun of Halloween, and then there's Thanksgiving, and Christmas! Anytime we go outside when it's chilly, Patrick brings up the fact that snow is coming so we can get out his sled.  And I have to admit that I'm actually looking forward to it. Talk to me again in February, but as of right now, I'm enjoying the fact that it's fall. ;)  

I have a lot of pictures on my phone from this past month so prepare for a picture overload.

Since Patrick goes to preschool part of the week, Aiden gets to go run errands with me by himself.

In my opinion, he was the cutest little shopper at the Dollar Store.  Just waiting in line to buy his stickers.

I openly admit that I get stir crazy and have to get out of the house.  That's probably the number one reason why winter is hard on me...it's too cold to just get out with the boys!  Even though it's been turning cold, we've taken full advantage of the fact that there's a school playground 2 minutes away from our house.  I loooove the fact that our boys are going to the same school I went to.  I even found out that some of my old teachers are still teaching at the school.  FYI: Hibbard Elementary has the coolest playground.

One morning, Patrick woke up just as I was about to go on a long run and he insisted on going with me.  My first response was to tell him to play with toys until I got back but he really wanted to go and I really want him to 1-enjoy having some one-on-one time 2-love being active.  And we both loved every second of that run.  Probably one of my most enjoyable runs...ever.

Not my best picture ever but it was so fun having Patrick as my running buddy.  Not to mention, I was so proud of him!  3 years old and he ran just under a mile in a little over 10 minutes.  This boy has soooo much energy.  I may not have gotten in my miles for the morning, but sometimes that just doesn't even matter.

Speaking of running...I ran my first half marathon!

I've been running for awhile now and it's only been recently that I've extended my runs.  Really, my thyroid was the key so once that was fixed, running really became more mental than anything.  I was making little victories on distance and realized that I had no reason that I couldn't run a further distance.  Frankly, I was tired of seeing other people go farther distances and me wondering why I couldn't.  The morning that I took this picture was when I decided to run until I couldn't go any farther.  My ipod died at mile 9 so that's when I stopped. ;)

However, I'd had a break through mentally and decided to just go the distance of the half marathon because I knew it was possible.

I should really stop taking unflattering pictures in the middle of working out, with no makeup on.

So, I took a little run out to the river that I used to bike to during triathlon training.  I'll admit, I was a little tired after that one and to prevent injuries, I've had to cut back on mileage in the last couple weeks.  But I finished in 2:04 so I was pretty happy about that.  

Running has become my therapy.  On days that I run, I definitely have more patience as well as a boost in my self-esteem.  Gotta love those natural endorphins. :)  Anyway, I guess I'm crazy because marathon training has started and I'm pretty darn excited.  I'm thinking I should do one in February...in California.  I need something to look forward to when I'm tired of the never-ending winter. ;)

Nursery and Preschool

Aiden turned 18 months on the 14th and got to go to nursery!  It's a little weird not wandering the halls for all 3 hours of church.

Remember when Patrick was that same age?  Where does time go?

Speaking of Patrick, he started preschool!  I was all for Patrick going to preschool until this school year actually hit and then I was worried that he's a little young still.  However, we decided that there are a lot of things he can benefit from by going to preschool and it's been a great decision so far.  He really loves going to school and being with the other kids.  

 I'm dreading the day that my boys stop holding my hand for good.  I love that we can walk to his preschool everyday.

We headed over a little early so we decided to take some selfies. 

I have to admit that I look forward to every Monday and Wednesday morning because 1-I know Patrick will have fun while learning some structure from someone else and 2-It's nice having some one on one time with Aiden.  I can't believe how much easier it is to get things done with only one child!  We're also trying to soak in all of this sun while we can so preschool time has turned into little nature walk time for Aiden and I.  I was a little sad to think about how grown up Patrick is getting and that we can never get back those years of being home all day together, every day, but mostly I'm just excited that my little boys are growing up.  I love it when I pick up Patrick and he excitedly tells me about all of the things he's done that morning. 

So, I'm a little behind. Let's talk about ComicCon.

I don't know why, but this little blog is getting harder to keep up to date.  However, I'm determined to have this be our family journal so hopefully I can get caught up in the next couple posts.  First up: ComicCon!  Yep.  I went to ComicCon.

My brother presented Jon with the idea of going as kind of a fun, brotherly bonding time thing but pretty soon I realized that it might be fun to get out of the house and join them in their trip to Utah.  They could go to ComicCon and I would kind of relax, go on nice long runs, swim in pools and have a couple days of alone time.  However, Aiden was going through a phase of not wanting to be left anywhere without us and he ended up coming with me while Patrick stayed with cousins.  And it ended up being great.

Aiden took a few selfies in the car.  Mom of the year award goes to me for this car ride.  I brought a whole jacket for my 18 month to play with on a 4 hour ride.  Good thing grandma packed some snacks for him.  Luckily, I have the greatest traveling buddies and Aiden was happy the whole way.

The first day, Jon and Derek went to the convention while Aiden and I had a whole day to ourselves to do whatever we wanted.  I decided shopping would be fun, but while I was walking to the mall, I saw the temple on the other side of the street and decided I wanted nothing more than to have some quiet time on the temple grounds.  Sometimes it's just nice to walk around and think. :)

And this little man was some pretty great company.  One on one time is the greatest thing ever sometimes.

My lovely cousin, Erika, saw that I was in Utah and sent a text that we should hang out.  I had just gotten a new phone and had zero contact numbers so I was really happy to hear from her because she kept me company the rest of the day!

We went to lunch, went to a little park to let the kids play, and then we hung out at the mall until the kids had had enough.  Luckily that was at the same time the guys got done with all of their fun.  It was just one of those out of the norm, relaxing type of days that I was really in need of.  I wish Erika lived closer so we could hang out more!  Seriously, I could probably be a hermit when it comes to the social scene but I'm extremely grateful for those people in my life that are willing to look past my inability to plan things, not get offended that I'm horrible at keeping in touch, and hang out anyway.  If I've hung out with you, you're pretty special. ;)

Anyway, the next day we decided to go back to ComicCon for a few hours and leave pretty early in the day so that we could pick up Patrick.  I decided to go along for the ride and realized ComicCon can be pretty fun. ;)  Really, some of the panels with the stars were interesting to listen to.  Our first one was with Simon(Howard Wallowitz) from the Big Bang Theory.  If you don't watch that show, I don't know if I'd recommend it necessarily but Jon and I really like that t.v. series.  It's one of the only ones we watch actually...so yeah, we were both pretty excited to be in that conference room.

 Waiting for it to start.

I loved that he promoted going to school to work on your art.  Or really, going to school to work on whatever your passion is.  I think the crowd was a little angry when he said he, nor any of the other characters, are actually into video games. ;)

I didn't get any pictures after this panel because there were soooooo many people and it took 20 minutes to move 3 feet so I was a little claustrophobic and breaking out the camera was not in my thoughts.  I'm pretty sure if I could just do the panels and meet different celebrities, I would go to another ComicCon.  I'm ok with skipping the the over-crowded, buying fantasy toys part of it.  We're already talking about going next year to the San Diego one and I'm more than happy to go because then my quiet time will be at the beach.  I could do that all day, every day. :) 

We Did It

There have been a lot of things happening with our little family.  Some we did it moments.  First one being the Rush Triathlon!

I'm the biker in the top and Karolyn is in the bottom picture

We finished!

So, there's a little story behind this race.  Remember how I wrote about being competitive?  Well, I was taught a little lesson on how I can't control everything, no matter how I try, and that's a good thing.  Our triathlon was on Saturday but starting on Wednesday I got the fever that my boys had.  And not just a little fever.  Like a fever so high I had to crawl around the house because I was so week and sick, couldn't eat, lost 10 pounds in 2 days, had a few emotional breakdowns, and wanted to die type of fever.  My throat was covered in sores and I just felt...really miserable. :)  By Thursday night, I had half of dinner, Friday I ate one full sandwich for lunch and a cookie for dinner and Saturday morning I prayed that I would have enough strength to not drown in the lake.  To top it off, my bike had been in the shop earlier that week and I got a call saying it was done on Wednesday in the middle of my sickness so I completely forgot about it.  Friday night, after the store was closed and while I was at my cousin's reception, I remembered that I didn't even have a bike.  Luckily, Karolyn knew someone who knew someone who happened to have the owner's unlisted number and he was willing to go open his store for us.  Thank you Sticks and Stones. :)  Anyway,  I didn't drown and I finished in 1:41 placing 9th overall for females, which is slower than I hoped for days earlier but better than I thought considering how I felt.  Part of me wanted to break it down and say, "I know my swim could have been at least 2 minutes faster and my biking 2 minutes faster and my running 6 minutes faster if I had just felt well," but really I'm just grateful I could complete it.  And honestly, a big weight was lifted from my shoulders when I was sick because I knew I couldn't put pressure on myself to get a certain time.  I had to just go with it and that's always a good lesson for me.

The next we did it moment: we sold our house!

 Goodbye little trailer that we were so anxious to get out of but really emotional to leave when it came down to it.

And I had to get a picture in front of this tree.  The last thing my dad painted for us.  It was always a reminder to me of my dad's selflessness.  This tree was painted in the middle of my dad's chemotherapy treatments and I remember him being so weak but coming and painting anyway.  I think it took him a week to finish because he had to take so many breaks but he was determined to paint that tree for Patrick's room.  I remember getting a picture text showing me the tree at work and asking if it looked ok or if I wanted him to re-draw it...my dad, too weak to almost stand at that point in treatment, and he was willing to redo it if it meant I was happy.  Perfect or not, I loved that tree and I loved that reminder in my boy's bedroom of a grandpa's love.  I think it was the hardest part to leave behind.  Harder than leaving the house we brought our two boys home to, harder than leaving what became our sanctuary through some really hard trials, harder than leaving behind something to call ours.  We are excited to build a real home but there will always be a little piece of my heart that loves that little trailer.  It kind of felt like we were saying goodbye to the hardest five years of our lives and hopefully welcoming a happier chapter.

Hopefully our next we did it moment will happen in about 4-5 months when our house is finished!  

Competitive

I have a confession to make.  I'm really, really competitive.  While this can be a good thing and I'm realizing it has helped fuel any passions I've had in life, sometimes it's really not a good thing.  Next Saturday, I'm going to complete(hopefully;)) my first full triathlon.  I've been training over the summer and my competitive side has been good because it keeps me getting up in the mornings.  However, me being competitive, that also means I'm checking times of past winners and trying to beat those times and even though I tell myself that I just want to finish in under a certain amount of time, there's a part of me that is driven to try to win.  Some days I push hard and get great times and other days I'm just tired and I can't.  Since training for the past couple of months my body has been through a miscarriage(not planned) as well as trying to figure out a malfunctioning thyroid and both have drained me of energy but the competitive side of me doesn't care.  I can bike 20 miles, run a few more and then go swim around a lake on a Saturday morning and as soon as I check facebook and see that someone ran farther than me, I feel like I'm not training hard enough.

I don't mean this to be a downer post, but I want this blog to be real and sometimes I get tired.  Tired of looking on facebook and comparing myself, tired of training, tired of putting pressure on myself to be more than I'm capable in this moment.  If I don't get the times I want in this triathlon, it's ok.  It's been a process but I'm learning how important it is to appreciate our bodies for the amazing things they can do.  So what if I have a few inches left that I want to get rid of here or there, my body is capable of doing really great things and I'm really grateful for that.  I haven't been grateful like I should be and I've focused on what I can't do this summer but this week has been good to me.  I went on a bike ride on Saturday and started to appreciate the fact that my training has let me really enjoy nature.  I love the stillness and peace I feel when I'm riding or running at 6:30 in the morning out in nature.  And I love that we're building a house(more on that later) out in the country where I only have to go five miles in almost any direction before I can feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere and enjoy that stillness that allows my thoughts to go towards gratitude.
So, no matter what happens this Saturday I am so grateful for the things I have in my life.

For example:
I loved seeing the excitement on this little boy's face when he realized it was his birthday.  My buddy means a lot to me.
 

 And I love checking on Aiden and seeing that he has a love for books just like his Grandpa

And I love that I cooked a dinner with vegetables from our own garden!

And I love watching our boys get so much enjoyment out of the rain and splashing through puddles.

I love crossing over this river, multiple times, on a long bike rides.

And hello random elk farm in the middle of nowhere(also known as Plano, I believe). 

I love it when I peek into the living room and see these two playing peacefully together.

I will never get tired of holding this little guy's hand.

I love that I married my high school sweetheart and best friend.

Especially when we have class reunions and we can reminisce together.

And if you see me in the grocery store and I don't look happy, it's because my boys have high fevers...again.  Just remind me that I really am grateful and this sickness will pass. ;)